I did originally lose almost 30 lbs, but slowly put it back on. Then last year, I lost 13 lbs, and quickly put that back on again...and then some. Never once did I stop going to meetings. But I hate tracking. I hate that I have to count every single thing that I eat. It doesn't seem fair. I've never been one to pig out. I never ate an entire carton of ice cream, bag of chips, package of cookies.
Sure, there are some things I know I need to improve. More fruits and veggies. Less carbs. But I quit drinking soda years ago. I stay away from the candy dish at work. I'd love to say I stay away from all candy, but that would be a lie. But I see people who eat much more than I do on a daily basis and they are so much smaller than I am.
I eat less now and better now than I did before I joined Weight Watchers! So why do I weigh more? Did I sabotage myself by joining in the first place? I was ok where I was before. I knew I was heavy, always have been, but I never felt awful about myself. I just figured it was who I was. But now, it feels like no matter what I do, I can't lose weight and if I eat anything "bad", all I do is gain.
Do I want to lose weight and look good? Hell, yes! But do I want to spend the entire rest of my life stressing about every single thing I eat? Do I want to have to spend every spare moment working out? NO! And right now, I feel like that is what I need to do. So I'm extremely frustrated! I want to have it easy. I want to be like my husband who went to the doctor earlier this year and, without even trying, lost 13 lbs. It's not fair! Why do I have to work so hard?
